last updated__ april 23

by me

alrite, so i wrote this story for school a little while ago.

it was supposed to be a poem, but my teacher was gay

and told me to make it into a story. i was looking back

at it, & i think alot of you can sort of relate. not about

the whole war //dying thing. but i bet alot of you have

a Best Guy friend you secretly like. read the story. its

kind of long but its a pretty good piece. so enjoy <3 *

Nick and Riley were best friends from the moment they began playing an astonishing game of hide-and-seek on that aging playground … “I see you! “, squealed little Riley when she finally found Nick hiding under the plastic, fluorescent colored slide.  Together they ran to an open baseball field, trying to beat each other there.  It was only their third time playing together, and already there was a sense of familiarity between them.  After that first meeting on the playground, Riley and Nick kept coming there every Sunday afternoon to play a variety of children’s games like hide-and-seek and tag.  Sometimes they would bring crunchy carrots and juicy apples to munch on between games.  It went on like this until they began kindergarten where they fortunately ended up in the same class.  As they grew older, Riley and Nick grew closer, so close in fact that the other children at school made fun of them, thinking that they were “ boyfriend and girlfriend “, but they ignored the rude chanting and went on with their lives.  Through their entire school careers they stayed friends.  When high school came, Riley began to realize that she liked Nick as more than a friend, but she promised herself that she would never tell a soul, thinking that it would destroy their friendship.  What love struck Riley didn’t know, was that Nick also had a crush on her.  Together they graduated high school, keeping each others secrets and helping each other with problems.  Nobody had ever seen a friendship as close as theirs.  Riley felt blessed that she had kept such a friend as Nick. She thought to soon - Nick was drafted into the army.  Riley was overcome with fear, for she thought that Nick would surely be hurt, but she did not let it show.  She reassured him that everything would be fine and that he would come back to the States safe and sound.  During Nick’s time in Iraq, they sent letters back and forth as much as possible.  Riley read them with happiness and was overjoyed when she received them in the mail.  And as for Nick, getting mail was one million times better than sitting in his dusty, damp, smoldering tent, the tent where all his thoughts about anything were ruined by the stench of death and bloodshed in the air.  His thoughts about everyone, even Riley, the woman he loved most, where shattered by the screams of innocent people dying.  But both Nick and Riley kept their heads held high, waiting for the day Nick would return home.  Nothing had gotten between them, except for the thousands of miles that separated their friendship.  Even after eight months, they still wrote letters keeping as close as possible, but all of a sudden, Nick stopped writing.  Riley thought that something must have happened in the mail.  After three months, she still did not receive any letter.  One day, she finally got a letter, but not from Nick, from his parents.  The letter read this: Dearest Riley, You were like a sister to Nick so we are sending you this with our deepest sorrows.  We have recently received a call from the United States Army that Nick has been killed in bombing.  We know you will be just as devastated as we were to hear this poignant news, but we know Nick would not want us to mourn him forever.  We pray that you will overcome this loss and move on with your life like Nick would have wanted you to.  With Our Deepest Sympathy, Mr. & Mrs. Braudel.  That was it; Riley had no more reason to live life.  She had no reason to breathe the crisp fresh air that was surrounding her.  Nick was her life and he was what had kept her going.  Knowing that he was going to return safely is what kept her happy.  And now, he wasn’t coming back home. Ever.

The End

you’ve been too blind to see the real me hiding behind this mask of happiness

a year has come and gone but the mask stays firmly on

what can i do for you to see the real me inside

so BLiND so F00LiSH too StR0NG to WEAK

you may know me it’s easy to see the smile hiding everything within

the SCREAMiNG CRYiNG DYiNG soul inside

never does that soul escape the mask holding it will never break

there’s nothing anyone can do to let her escape

so BLiND so F00LiSH too StR0NG to WEAK

you may think you know me

it’s easy to see the smile hiding the despair within.

somewhere in the back of my head
theres a little voice that keeps tellin'
me yur gonna come back _ that all i
have to do is wait . and i have been
waiting. day after day im hoping for
you to come back .. but maybe that
little voice is wrong, mayb its just all
in my head mayb yur never coming
back. i said i didn't need you, but im
a liar. i need you, i swear i do - i do.

everybody has dreams but only

the ones who really want them

can make them come true =)

without you im incomplete

you’re the reason my heart

s k i p s beats. please come

back and tell me you care ,

cuz through my eyes we’re

the perfect pair

the feeling i get with you is like N0 0tHER

its like a rush of adrenaline all over again

like the first time we kissed, AMAZiNG

the minutes i spend laughing with you

are the shortest I’ve ever had. they go by

like that. no matter how much time i spend

with you, it will NEVER be enough

the moments i take to look at you, really

look at you. are the ones that mean the

most. because those moments are the ones

that i realize how in love i tRULY am<3

before my door was flung open wide – it was just me, alone. now that i found the feelings that hide, nothings gonna stop them from showin. you come into my world without any warning, everything just hit my so fast. i go through each day without any mourning; no more thinking love can not last. its like the sun just popped out of nowhere, making me feel so happy once more; each day that passes proves you care; no longer will my heart be sore. « love is bullshit. just when you think you found someone – they stab you in the back.                                                                                                             don’t trust any of those fuckers its never gonna last.

i`m sick of the feeling i get when i think of you ,

when i look at you when i talk about you im sick

of the empty feeling i always have like a part of

life_my heart <3 is missing & the only way that

feeling is ever going to go away. is if you would

just love me again , hold me again, look into my

eyes and let me know that you love me too =\

boyfriends : beware of every

single one of these guys, cause

the moment you do something

they dont like or more or more

importantly – i don’t like – yur

a goner. these are my personal

‘bouncers‘ in a sense. and they

wont wait for the drop of a hat

to kick your ass. i <3 you guys

you know he still has some

feelings left for you when

instead of being the idiot

knocking your books down,

hes the one helping you pick

them up <3

this is one of my MUCH earlier works. i think it sucks. but hey, maybe somebody out there will like it.

its called, what was i thinking and i wrote it after my best friend ethan totally saved me. i will love him forever <3.

this is the first time im showing this to anyone. ethan hasn’t even seen it.

i guess.

what went through my head that night,

is still a mystery to me.

maybe i was mad,

scared,

sad.

i don’t know.

but i do know that if it wasn’t for you,

something bad would have happened.

you and i have a secret now,

one you must promise to keep.

if anyone found out,

only God know what would

happen to me.

maybe i would do it then,

from all the stress,

from people bugging me

nonstop.

asking me if i was okay.

you’ve been such an awesome friend,

keeping my secrets,

listening to all my problems,

and everything else.

and i know

that those secrets will be

safe with you.

you’ve laughed with me

and listened to me cry.

it was all worth it.

what was i thinking?

i really don’t know.

this life is too short to mess it up.

and with such awesome friends as you,

i don’t want to go,

not now.

not ever.

please don’t ever leave my side,

cause i don’t know what i’ll

do without you.

what was i thinking.

Love .. its not something everyone gets to experience.

But you – you made it happen for me <3

Love stands for more than hugs & kisses.

It stands for something else,

It stands for you and me.

It stands for laughing with each other.

It stands for understanding each other.

It stands for getting through the tough times.

Love, it stands for more than hugs & kisses.

You and me. we are always thought of together.

We’re like salt&pepper. We’re like peanutbutter

&jelly. We’re like R&B, rock&roll, hip&hop.

We`re like zig&zag, ying&yang … But no matter

How you think of us, we’ll always be best friends,

Through sweet times and sour times. We’ll always

be together.<3 best friends `till the end girl <3

you know the saying “ you don’t know what you have till

its gone ? “ well now i know that is the truest quote ever.

i had everything i wanted. an awesome boyfriend who

<3’d me. friends who took care of me & loved me too, &

i was happy. but then i let one thing go and everything

else went down the drain. so next time your thinking of

giving something up, think about it really hard first …

cause once you let it go, your probably not getting it back

life just keeps on getting better by the second ..

N0T

everything that happens comes back & bites

you in ass. even the things that you regret

happening or wish never did. well when that

comes and bites you in the ass .. you’ll <3 it.

^ you might not get that one. but i do. =P

does it look like i care what you think?

like i care where i come from? like i

care who i am? if it does to you, you

have some serious screws loose up in

that fucked up head of yours.

there are no similes or metaphors

there is no way of getting around

three uncomplicated words...

i love you – plain and simple <3

do you ever feel « scratch that.

everyone knows that everyone

feels, but no one knows what

i`m feeling.

voqlio tu. té amo.*

i want you. i <3 you.

i dont love you like a fat kid

loves cake, my love for you

is deeper. i love you like a

rocker loves his guitar <3

you’re the only one who has the

ability to make me stop breathing

and forcing my heart to skip a beat.

if nobody understands what can you do?

love isn’t a lesson. you can’t teach someone

how to love, and you also can’t teach why to

love. so just let it go. if they can’t understand

thats not your problem.

like the snow in this blizzard – i’ll never stop loving you.

what’s it mean to live strong?

maybe i’ll never know `cause

you’ve taken all the strength i

knew away and tore it up &

now the only thing i’ll ever

know is how to die weak.

sitting here in my room i’m thinking about what happened – it was so incredible. i still can’t believe it. was i dreaming? it seemed pretty real. all of a sudden i looked up and you were there. it was a true miracle. i’ll never forget the day i finally spoke to you again. yea – it was 2 words, but it was so worth it. to hear your voice again. it’s changed so much. i wonder what else has changed .. the taste of your lips? the way you stare into my eyes? no, that hasn’t changed. its still the same, deep, sexy thing. your eyes are so powerful. they just sweep me off my feet, like i sprouted wings. you were the best thing that ever happened to me. and i’m missing you now and always will. the little things make me go crazy. bumping into you in the hallway, glancing my way, hearing your voice, thinking of you. it all adds up. i’ll never stop loving anything about you. even those long, never ending world war 2 stories & endless talks about weightlifting and baseball. i miss every second of it all. i don’t know how I’m surviving without you. that one moment yesterday when you picked up my books for me, brought all the memories back, even faster than usual. it shows your still the gentleman you used to be, and it shows that maybe, just maybe you still care too.

as i stand here, razor in my hand, sleeve pulled up

i stop for a moment to look up in the mirror and see

a girl who’s hurting so bad, but can still find

happiness. i look away and listen to the sound of

metal hitting the floor & the blood still rushing

through my veins.

not by me

rock bottom is when you`ve had it up to here.

you`re mad enough to scream but sad enough to tear

[ dorkalicious_quotes ]

she felt that her whole life was some kind of dream

and she sometimes wondered who`s it was

& whether they were enjoying it.

[ dorkalicious_quotes ]

once youu enter highschool.. things change. your best friend becomes a BxTCH. your boyfriend becomes a PRiCK. homework goes in the TRASH. cell phones are being used in CLASS. detention becomes SUSPENSiON. soda becomes BEER. gum becomes POT. bikes becomes CARS. lollipops becomes CiGARETTES. lipgloss becomes MAKE UP. french kissing becomes SEX. yeah.. high school does change everybody.

[ dorkalicious_quotes ]

“The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected.

Maybe they always have been and always will be.  Maybe we’ve lived 1,000

lives before this one and in each of them we’ve found each other.  And

maybe each time, we’ve been forced apart for the same reasons.  That means

that this good-bye is both a good-bye for the past ten thousand years and a